My first Mutant Crawl Classics adventure is now on sale! It’s a zero-level funnel published by Purple Duck Games. Here’s the sales pitch:
Well hey there, kids! I’m Sammy Squirrel! Gosh, it feels like I’ve slept for ages! Now that I’m awake again, I hope you’ll come on down and check out Sammy Squirrel’s Smart Toys! And by “down” I mean underground, through this mysterious hole! Because my toy store has been buried for centuries, and all the fun down here is just aching to get out again! We’ve got toys that talk, and toys that hug, and toys that sound so pleasant that you’ll want to do whatever they say! We’ve even got toys that fight! Ha ha!
My Smart Toys are fun for kids of all ages. Why, you might even run into our youngest customer! And here at Sammy’s, we don’t mind at all if you have an extra arm or two or you have roots for feet or you’re not quite housebroken. All kids are welcome, so long as you like having fun!
Sure, I’ll admit that my store has seen better days. Some of the lights flicker, and a few walls have fallen down, and then there’s that problem we have with some of the toys trying to murder people. But better days are coming, and lately we’ve been attracting customers from far away. Far away indeed.
So come on down. You know you want to. Come see the place where Sammy brings toys to life…